I had to transport a child to the cardiac hospital in Brisbane tonight. He had a serious heart condition, and I was told that I'd be in the ambulance with two junior paramedics. Cat said to me "So you'll be right if you need to defibrillate him on the way?" "Yep", I said confidently, all the while thinking "Ohfuckohfuckohfuck..." Anyway, all was ok, and he was fine for the journey. The ambos were nice enough to bring me back to my hospital when we came back, and they shared with me some of their stupidest calls to 000. One involved a category one call that came over the radio, for an "uncontrollable haemorrhage". When they arrived, sirens blaring and lights flashing, it turned out to be a man (not quite the full cup of tea) with a paper cut equivalent laceration. Another call was for "a white, flaky substance on scalp - query dandruff". If that wasn't bad enough, they got an update 10 minutes later, saying "Patient is scratching scalp and white flaky substance now on shoulders." With that, Merry Christmas everyone. Take care of your children tomorrow so I don't have to look after them in Emergency :-)
