So. Outpatient appointment tomorrow. I will wait 3 hours to see a new doctor who knows nothing about me for 5 minutes. It's a pointless waste of time. I'm better, because I'm not eating. When I eat, I get terrible pain. So I've started just having bites of dry biscuits throughout the day, and a few forkfuls of dinner at night. It's ok, because I'm not hungry anyway. My lips are all cracked and bleeding at the edges - they just won't heal. I have no energy whatsoever - I walk 100m and I'm stuffed for the rest of the day. I sleep a lot. Which is the part I don't mind - sleep is my favourite pastime. Now I have an excuse! I don't know when I can go back to work. It's already been at least 6 weeks. I'm so poor!
But I'm okay. My brother and I went out and picked up two Ragdoll kittens for our Mum yesterday. I don't have any good pictures yet, but they're just adorable bundles of white and brown fluff. They jump and play fight, and climb and 'mew', and sleep flat out on their backs in my arms. I can't leave them alone, whether they're playing or sleeping.
I'm a lot more positive lately. If I have a good day, fantastic, and if not I just wait until the next. I know one day there will be an answer. Maybe not this year, or next. But one day, I will either just be better, or someone will put it all together and figure it out to treat whatever it is that's wrong.
I feel at peace right now, knowing my Mum has two beautiful kittens to love and be loved by. Knowing my family is making an effort - and possibly because of me.

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