I've been discharged from hospital. 3 weeks. 3 weeks of uncertainty. Of guessing and telling me possibilities that were too scary to think about, but I couldn't turn them off in my head. Telling me I had an ischaemic bowel (dying tissue) - meaning I would need a colostomy. Telling me 2 days later they were wrong about that. I had Crohn's - which I was ok with, because it at least was treatable. Or ulcerative collitis. Same. Only to have test after test come back with different answers. A lot of inflammation showing up everywhere, and pockets of swelling, but no answers.
Pain every day - morphine tablets 4 times a day, sometimes through the night. And the pain continues. But they sent me home as clueless as before.
They've referred me back to the gynaecologist who told me there was nothing else she could do for me, and to investigate the bowel possibility as a reason for the pain.
10 years of living with this pain.
Don't get me wrong. I don't WANT there to be something wrong with me. I want to be healthy and pain free.
But I'm not.
So the next best thing is to find out what it is, so that maybe it can be treated. Or at the very least, I could stop believing that maybe it's all just in my head.

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